Does he like me? 5 texting signs he's really into you

What are the signs he likes you over text?

The strongest signs are effort and curiosity: he starts conversations on his own, asks about your day, follows up on things you told him, keeps conversations going and moves toward meeting in person.

• He texts first sometimes, not only when you write.
• He asks questions back instead of just answering yours.
• He remembers details: the exam, the trip, your sister's name.
• He suggests concrete plans, or says yes to yours with a day and a time.
• Over time, his replies match yours in length and warmth.

Which signs are misleading?

Reply speed, emoji and late-night texting are easy to over-read. They depend more on habits, jobs and personality than on interest.

Someone can reply in seconds because their phone is always in their hand, and someone else can take hours and still be very into you. Lots of emoji is often a style, not a confession. Late-night chats can mean closeness, or just that it's the only free time in the day.

Read signs together and over a few weeks. One great evening of texting or one slow day tells you little.

Does he like me or is he just being nice?

Nice is responsive; interested is invested. A polite person answers what you ask. Someone who likes you adds something: a question, a story, a reason to keep talking and a reason to meet.

A practical check: notice who starts conversations over two or three weeks, and whether conversations end as soon as you stop asking questions. If it's almost always you, he may enjoy the attention without being sure about more, or he may simply be slow to show it. Either way, a direct invitation will tell you more than more texting.

Do people who like each other text alike?

Often, yes. People who click tend to mirror each other's way of writing, down to small words like "I", "the" and "but". Researchers call this language style matching.

In a speed-dating study, pairs whose language styles matched more were more likely to both want to meet again. Among dating couples, higher style matching in their instant messages predicted still dating three months later (Ireland et al., 2011). The samples were small and it's a statistical signal, not a verdict on one chat. But it's a better clue than counting minutes.

How do I find out without overthinking every message?

Stop decoding single texts and look at the pattern, then make a clear move: suggest a concrete plan. A yes with a time says more than any analysis of messages.

If you'd rather see numbers than guess, paired shows how much each of you starts, replies and writes, and how closely your writing styles match, all from your WhatsApp export and without uploading it.

What your chat can actually show

paired reads your WhatsApp export on your phone and measures the balance between you: who starts, how fast each of you replies, how much each of you writes, and how closely your styles match. Here's the sample chat: language style matching, month by month.

• Who starts conversations, and how that shifted over time
• Typical reply time per person
• Average words per message, per person
• Language style matching (0 to 100), overall and month by month

How we calculate it →

What texting can't tell you

• What he feels. Texts show behavior, not intentions.
• Whether he's texting other people too.
• Chemistry in person, which matters more than any chat.